Collection: CBT

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Chastity as submission

We’re all men, the privileged sex in our society. All men het — gay, bi, transgendered — possess the key to greater respect, to better paychecks and to deference from others — a penis.

Well, we know better than that. We tend to think with our “lower head.” Many of us allow our sexual drive to overcome our judgment. If you’re in a loving relationship, may wish to give your lover a tangible indication of your devotion and willingly yield to chastity.

For these or countless other reasons, a privileged male voluntarily yielding control of his cock, and therefore his entire sexual being, to his Keyholder is a poignant and emotionally moving act of submission.

There remains no question of your devotion after offering your lover the keys to your sexuality. The act of submission cements the roles in the relationship and reinforces the relative strengths of your personalities.

Submissive men and their dominant partners often find being “locked in,” with their different roles clearly defined, deeply fulfilling. Chances are you and your partner will, too. Submit to your Keyholder to fully experience submission.

Please lock me up — enlisting a Keyholder

Male chastity fiction often follows a typical pattern: an indignant or angry partner (usually a wife) puts her lover in chastity under threats. Such fantasies may gratify wannabes, but seldom reflect reality.

More often, the man asks his partner to restrain him, to become his Keyholder. Why should this be?

Any male understands better than anyone else how his sexual vigor may get him in deep trouble. A man committed to a relationship but with a roving eye may ask his partner to control him. Another may relieve himself and be sexually unavailable for a time. Whatever the reason, asking your partner to lock your cock away is never easy.

Some men wait for external events to create an opening, a news story or incident among friends. Others blurt out their desire without preparation. These approaches are unlikely to succeed.

Instead, once you recognize your need for male chastity, thoughtfully plan how to raise the subject. You’ll know best whether to present the idea as a gift demonstrating your devotion, a solution to a problem you both recognize, or even as a punishment for specific behaviors. Focus on your partner’s feelings, not your desires.

Defining the reason for chastity may not be enough. The timing and your specific approach can be critical. Here are some general suggestions. Adapt them to your own situation.

If there’s a specific, known issue such as premature ejaculation, don’t bring it up immediately after yet another unsatisfactory sexual performance. Wait until you’re both relaxed and you’ve performed some services your lover enjoys. Acknowledge how you behavior disappoints your partner and speculate (if you don’t already know) about the feelings your lover experiences. Ask if they need to express other feelings to you. Only then, and briefly, mention how badly you feel about your behavior. If you get a positive response, then ask if they’re interested in a possible solution. If so, now bring up chastity.

If you have nothing to feel apologetic about, we recommend opening the conversation after bringing your partner into a receptive mood as we said above. Describe your feelings of devotion or your occasional out-of-control feelings. The important thing is to begin with your genuine feelings and describe how you feel the gift of your sexuality, expressed in a chastity device and chastity games, might enhance your relationship. Be absolutely honest. This is not the time for hidden agenda.

It’s most likely your lover and future Keyholder will be intrigued and want to explore more. Encourage them to explore their own reactions over time and be ready to answer any questions.

Respectful, partner-centered approaches like these are more likely to receive a positive response.

Training for long-term chastity

When your Keyholder decides you must be kept locked away for more than a few days, be sure to thank them and indicate your acceptance of their wisdom.

In such cases, you’ll need to be certain your body and cage combination is ready for an extended ordeal.

Fitting my shaft into a cage…

I have developed a technique that works and imagined another which I have not yet tried.
My flaccid cock has a diameter of 5 inches (12.7 mm). I tried several times to fit my shaft into a cage, but experienced jabbing pains from the two pins that keep the cage aligned with the CBR. Loose sheath skin bunched up at the entrance to the cage, so that when I tried to mat e the cage to the ring, the pins jabbed painfully into my sensitive flesh.
I used mineral oil to try to keep things sliding without much success. Reasoning that I’d probably do better pulling than pushing, I hit upon the following solution.

1. Fully unroll a condom. Looong, isn’t it? Everyone wishes they had something to fill the cylinder, but no one does.
2. Place the condom as far down your cock as it can go. It need not be erect will at the time; condoms stretch wide.
3. Push the tip of the condom through the urethra hole of your cage. You may find it helpful to poke it with a pencil eraser. (Condoms with a semen reservoir may work better.)
4. Slowly pull the condom through the urethra hole. This has the effect of lengthening and narrowing your shaft. When your cock is as far in the cage as possible, the condom will eventually slide off.
5. Insert the pin into the cage, slide the spacer over it and carefully slide the pins into the holes in the CBR. Put the hasp of the lock in the pin and twist the pin all the way in. Now lock the cage. Doesn’t that feel good? Solid. Substantial. Unforgettable.
6. Show your Keyholder the depth of your submission by being fully obedient.

The second technique, which I have not tried, offers your Keyholder a chance for some CBT.

1. Fit as much of the shaft into the cage as possible. A pencil with an eraser can help push.
2. Your Keyholder pokes a pair of tweezers through any side opening of the cage, grasps a bit of your sheathskin and pulls it through the sides of the cage.
3. Repeat for each hole that allows more sheathskin to be extruded. Consider that you may have to pull each flap more than once. Have fun!
4. Does it look cute or ugly, squeezed as it is? If you try this with whatever degree of success, please take a video, or at least stills, and let us know how it goes.

Sheathskin: a new compound word for the loose, wrinkly skin on the outside of a flaccid penis. This is the skin that slides so pleasurably in any warm orifice.

BON4 for those serious about Male Chastity